Advertisers Will Inundate Your Future Autonomous Car With Ads Because Of Course They Will. Ah, man, you see that up there? The Volkwsagen autonomous concept caterpillar called Sedric?

Corvettes are dirty cars. I don’t care how many times they go to LeMans with the Z06, a Corvette will always remind me of Dirk Diggler, the 1970s, shag carpeting. Super Smash Bros. on the Wii U already has alternate costumes for some characters along these lines, including Xenoblade’s Shulk, so the shirtless mod would have. Texarkana, Texas and Arkansas newspaper. Includes news, sports, opinion, and local information.

Imaging hitting the road in this adorable little guy someday. The Future’s going great and you’re relaxing in Sedric while it carts your non- driving ass around town. Life’s peachy. Sure, that is, if you enjoy being held captive for a horror show of ads. That’s the dystopia outlined in a new robot car study from Forrester Research.

On the occasion I get into a lag-free match, I really enjoy Dissidia’s online battles. It’s characters I love doing battle with each other while arrangements of. Your 2016 record: 9-7. In those seven losses, the Bucs gave up nearly five touchdowns a game. Derek Carr hung 500 yards on them (in a game where the Raiders committed.

The question I had, as I picked up the 2. Cadillac CTS V- Sport on a summer Saturday morning, was…Read more Read. The findings are not really surprising; more like the inevitable, logical conclusion. Ads are already everywhere. But the phrasing of this report—summarized by way of Mar. Tech Today—gushes with anticipation at the prospect of pumping ads into our personal vehicles of the future. If and when autonomous vehicles arrive, it’s difficult to envision anything more frightening than a massive tractor- trailer truck hurtling down the highway with no one at the wheel.

But, from a marketer’s point of view, the good news is that all those self- driving vehicles — including trucks — will essentially become moving living rooms. And that means a new universe of publishing and advertising opportunities.“Get ready for your car to become yet another ‘screen’ where publishers and advertisers compete for your attention,” says a new report from Forrester, “Autonomous Vehicles Will Reshape the Global Economy.”I can appreciate the cautious approach here to AVs—automakers themselves think it’ll take several decades before self- driving cars dominate the market—but, shit, does this next line paint a godawful picture: “Don’t be surprised,” the report warns, “when you start to see big brands sponsoring your rides: ‘This trip is brought to you by the champagne of beers — Miller High Life.’”Not to bag on High Life—it is objectively the superior option for cheap domestics—but who’s champing at the bit for this? Will ad- free options be offered when cars are purchased ?

Is there going to be a choice of what kind of ad you can listen to, similar to what Hulu does today? Can you turn the volume down? The story goes on to describe a scenario where “brands” could create experiences based on where the car’s headed. That’ll be super nice if, say, you have to a dire visit to the doctor. Just picture it: Car: Are you suffering from [pick your disease]You: Yes!!!

Aghhh. Car: Have you considered [medication you don’t know or never heard of]? Side effects include: [list that goes on for duration of ride]. Mm .. yeah, the future looks cool.

Why Your Team Sucks 2. Carolina Panthers. Some people are fans of the Carolina Panthers. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Carolina Panthers. This 2. 01. 7 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group.

Read all the previews so far here. Your team: Carolina Panthers. Your 2. 01. 6 record: 6- 1. Hey, who would have guessed a team coached by Ron Rivera and dependent on its QB for 9. IMMEDIATELY regress back to the mean after a fluke 1.

I could’ve made more money betting on that than betting on Mayweather. As you may recall, the Panthers’ Week 1 rematch with Denver was somehow a more brutal loss than Super Bowl 5. Cam Newton headshots that plays like a police misconduct showreel. Cam doesn’t even remember that first game. And remember when he got speared in the head against Washington and they ended up penalizing HIM on the play? That was fun. As a matter of fact, the 2. Panthers are probably our greatest historic case study for football not existing at all.

Look at Luke Kuechly, crying and disoriented after sustaining a potentially lethal concussion… What do you even say, man? Dour prickface Jerry Richardson is raking in paper sending these poor guys out there to get killed. I am not exactly thrilled to watch it happen all over again. On the lighter side of failure, I don’t have the exact numbers on me but I’m quite sure this is the only team that Roberto Aguayo made a field goal against. They also cut Bene’ Benwikere after Julio Jones racked up 3.

Good job letting Josh Norman walk. You fucking morons. The season- long fiasco resulted in the firing of GM Dave Gettleman, who then had his ass set on fire by every Panther he ever shoved out the door: Popular guy! Your coach: Glorified Best Buy manager Ron Rivera.

Remember when he benched Cam for not wearing a tie? WHAT BOLDNESS. It takes real guts to submarine an entire game by trotting Derek Anderson out there because you know the owner will make frowny faces at any player rocking a fucking turtleneck.

Your quarterback: Cam Newton. At this point, I have no choice but to believe the Panthers are actively trying to kill their own quarterback. How else to explain leaving him in the game after shots like this, and with a shoulder that would later need offseason surgery? Or paying Matt Kalil—MATT FUCKING KALIL—$2.

Do you know how insane that signing is? I’m not just saying that because I’m a bitter Vikings fan and watched Kalil play toll booth attendant to every defensive end in the league for the past four seasons.

No no, the rest of league was also well aware of Kalil’s physical and mental fragility, and the Panthers still opened the vault for him anyway. Cam should retire and spend the rest of his days wearing paisley romp- hims at Coachella. By the way, Cam still has no idea how to hold a press conference without looking like someone stole his lunch out of the office fridge.

And I’d still like an explanation for this shit… Why can’t he use normal letters? What poor assistant does he force to pound out Instagram captions in fucking wingdings? Only Prince was allowed to do this kind of shit. That 1. 5- 1 season? That was Cam’s one shot.

He’s 8- 8 from here on out. What’s new that sucks: Everything new about this team is old.

They brought back Julius Peppers for a farewell tour and, in a completely bonkers move, decided to replace Gettleman with former GM Marty Hurney. The whole reason they hired Gettleman was to get them out of the cap hell that Hurney put them in to begin with! What in the teal fuck is going on here? Hurney’s re- emergence coincides nicely with the Panthers’ resurrected belief that they can protect Cam and win more games simply by employing 7,0. They drafted Christian Mc.

Caffrey and—well now, this will STUN YOU—but his jersey is already listed at the top of the Top Sellers category on the team’s NFL Shop page. WHO COULD HAVE GUESSED? These fucking fans. By Week 1. 0, they’ll want him starting at quarterback. As someone who bore witness to Toby Gerhart’s pro career, you’ll excuse me if I’m not a big believer in white running backs from Stanford who get a token invite to the Heisman ceremony.

There’s also something hilarious about this team drafting a multipurpose back and then entrusting him to Mike Shula. That’s like handing a Porsche to a dog. The next time a Panthers wideout or back goes in motion will the first time. Poor Lil’ Caff is gonna get sent out into the flat 4. Really gives the safety a nice target to launch at, you know? Kony Ealy is a Patriot.

Kelvin Benjamin is fat now. What has always sucked: There’s a certain cruelty in the fact that Charlotte is both North Carolina’s largest city and also, by far, the boringest town in that state. Asheville is Austin with a more reasonable climate. Wilmington is gorgeous. The Research Triangle is a fucking blast.

Charlotte is a bank branch someone made into a whole city, presided over by Richardson and his anodyne football team. As long as Newton remains the centerpiece of the Panthers, he will be emblematic of the culture war raging inside this state.

He is a cool and wondrous player who is, virtually every waking moment, subjected to beatings both physical and verbal, from opponents and from the deranged yokel factions of this fanbase that demand Cam Newton be anyone other than Cam Newton. It will always be this way.

Always. Every goddamn year, I’m gonna have to hear about how Cam has to change his style of play, or why Cam can’t take winning in stride, or why Cam shouldn’t have worn those seersucker shorts to the podium. There will always be a section of this fanbase that roots for Cam reluctantly, like they’re biting their tongues at the Thanksgiving dinner table. And all that all subdued hostility stems directly from Richardson, a sullen pig who made his money fattening up Americans and strong- arming anyone who asked him to pay them fairly. I’ll never get over this old story he told, with gushing pride, to Charlie Rose: Richardson, who said that Newton “was dressed perfectly” for their meeting, was blunt. I said, ‘Do you have any tattoos?’” Richardson told Rose. He said, ‘No, sir. I don’t have any.’ I said, ‘Do you have any piercings?’ He said, ‘No, sir.

I don’t have any.’ I said, ‘We want to keep it that way.’ . We want to keep no tattoos, no piercings, and I think you’ve got a very nice haircut.”Interjected the host: “You sound like a Lombardi.”Said Richardson, “No, I just sound reasonable to me.”Get fucked, old man.

Everything good about this team will be at his mercy until he finally drops dead, just as all the cool things about North Carolina are at the constant mercy of dipshit rednecks that hate queers in the shitter and blacks at quarterback. This is just all so EXHAUSTING. Maybe the Panthers should take some time off and come back after Richardson is gone and his statue has been melted down to scrap metal and the team has moved. Also, the wideouts are still puke.

Did you know? Rae Carruth is due to get out of prison next year. Watch Staten Island Download Full there. Given this team’s penchant for retreads, they’ll probably bring him on as wideout coach. What might not suck: Cam could be lanced by an oncoming horseman and still be good for at least one rushing TD a game.

Really the only way to keep NFL QBs healthy is to clone 3. Cams. HEAR IT FROM PANTHERS FANS! Miles: Fuck Jerry Richardson with a thickburger. Andy: Our geriatric owner, who engineered the 2.

GM that won 3 division titles in 4 years, engineering a team that came within a whisker of starting 1. The reason? Basically because he was too Belichickian with the players. Because who wants to emulate the most successful coach in football history, right?

Mitch: The Panthers have made it to two Super Bowls and once won three straight division titles. We have yet to have back- to- back winning seasons. Stanford: I hated Michael Oher so much for being as useful as a sack of potatoes in the Super Bowl, I had no idea he only played in three games last year. Thank God he’s gone now. Fucking La. Var Ball played for this team.