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Why You're Not Having Sex - Death, Sex & Money. Mike: It just became easier not to have sex, you know? Just to keep the peace! This is Death, Sex & Money.

The show from WNYC about the things we think about a lot. I’ve never even been kissed before by anybody. Watch I Called Him Morgan Online Fandango there.

Marie has also never had sex. Marie: I do still have that fear that somebody -  I’m going to tell somebody that I’ve never had sex before and they’re going to walk away. You know, instead of a scarlet letter A, you know, it would be a scarlet letter V. Not having sex ever before or just right now can feel isolating. Maybe a little embarrassing. But we suspected that Marie’s not alone.

So, a few weeks back, I asked you this question: Anna: Why aren’t you having sex right now? Ooo, uh. It’s still something we don’t talk about.. Sarah: Both of us have a significant amount of friends who are in like heterosexual relationships and it always seems like they're having way more sex. That’s Sarah. She been with her girlfriend, Claire, for about two and a half years. They asked that we not use their real names, as did most people in this episode. Sarah: I think we started out having way more sex than we do now.

Claire: Yeah, definitely petered off. AS: About how many months has been your longest stretch of - of not having sex together? Sarah: Two to three months, I would say, which was - it was quite a, you know, cliff dive compared to what we were doing before. AS: Does it feel frustrating or does it feel okay, when you have stretches of no sex? Sarah: Um, Do you want to go first, Claire? Claire: I think this is where we - well, and I think this is where we have differing views.

That’s fine. And I think for Sarah, she’s more on the mindset of, I want to be having more sex. Why are we not having sex? And it becomes more of a stress factor. AS: So Sarah, what happens when you’re feeling frustrated? Sarah: I don’t know, I tend to kind of bottle everything up and just - I keep it inside, and, you know, like, metaphorically, I say I put a lot of things in my backpack.

And I just carry it around, and it gets heavier and heavier and heavier. And then it just comes to a point where I just explode and everything comes out at once. Claire: Well, and I think this is definitely something that we don’t know how to figure our way out of right now I mean, for me when I'm feeling like we don’t have that communication, or we’re arguing, I don’t want to have sex. I feel, like, disconnected from her. And for me, that disconnect wins over the desire to have sex.

AS: When you’re in a moment, where Claire, you’re not really feeling like having sex and Sarah, you’d really like to have sex, do you - do you touch? Or does that create sort of an impasse where you don’t really want to be close to each other?

Sarah: Um, I think when I want to have sex, I kind of, I don’t know, I’ll do this thing where I’ll run across the room and I’ll jump on top of her and like, you know, start kissing her and cuddling her and just like be kind of silly. And sometimes, you know, when I do that, I don’t get much of a reaction from her. She’s just like I’m busy or I’m thinking or I’m doing something, and then I’m just kind of let down and, just like, you know, roll over and go back to what I was doing before. Or there’s a mixed signal or a missed signal. And I think there are times when it’s very obvious that that’s what she’s going for but again, it’s like - Sarah: (Sigh)Claire: Well I don’t know that jumping on me like a little kid does, makes me feel, like, hot.

I’d prefer someone to make me feel, like, sexy versus silly. AS: Does it sometimes feel when you talk about your tensions around sex that it makes the tensions more difficult? Claire: Uh, I think so. Sarah: I don’t - I don’t know.

I like that we put it out there. For me, sex is a - it’s bigger part of a relationship. And I don’t know. I miss it. AS: You miss it. Sarah: I miss it. Yeah. Cameron: I don’t really miss it. Cameron sent in this voice memo from St.

Louis. Cameron: I miss the intimacy, which sex is an essential component of. But I don’t miss sex removed from any of that context. I have dealt with chronic back pain issues since I was 1. Sex is so physical.

It’s a moment when you’re deeply vulnerable in your physicality and you need to be present, as somebody with a body. And when you’re in pain, on kind of a minute to minute basis, all you want to do is forget that you have a body, and you can’t escape that during sex. You can’t escape your body during sex.

That’s something that Ellen has also been thinking about lately. AS: Why aren’t you having sex right now? Ellen: Um, because I contracted herpes, in June. AS: Were you in a relationship with the person that you got herpes from? Ellen: No. It was a casual friendship and somebody that I had known for a short time, but I mean I trusted him.

If I could just go back. I’ve had a couple boyfriends and then I’ve gone through times when I’ve, like, you know, gone like 2 years without having sex. It wasn’t a huge deal.

AS: Does it feel different this time? Ellen: Yeah. It feels really different.

It feels like there’s like something hanging over me. It’s not just like, oh I’m not - not having sex. If somebody comes along I’m not - not really sure how to handle that situation. AS: Because you’ll have to talk about it. Ellen: Oh yeah, I almost can’t get past, like, the barrier of telling somebody and having to deal with potential rejection. AS: Have you had any flirtations since you found out about your diagnosis?

Ellen: Yeah. And one in particular. We have a past history. And like he’s back in my life, and we’ve been friendly. But I can’t imagine it would just be a friendship. And so there’s that whole idea of like, oh man, what if something happened and on top of that, how would I, oh my god, how would I deal with this? Like, I keep thinking, maybe he has it too so it won’t have to be a big deal.

AS: (Laughs) Maybe my dreams will come true and he has it too! Ellen: (Laughs) I’ve never thought of myself as hoping someone has herpes. I don’t know. I try to find the humor in things.

Jihan wrote in about how her body is affecting her sex life. She’s black, and lives in LA.

And she says she’s not having sex because men just don’t seem interested in her. At least, not any men that she’d want to be with.

Jihan: I tend to attract men who fetishize black women. But when Jihan leaves the country everything changes. She first noticed it when she studied abroad.

Jihan: I was so not used to being approached by men that I didn’t - I didn’t realize that I was sort of being asked out. I remember even writing home to friends, like, you guys I get asked out on dates! Like when I was in the UK.

It’s really like a light comes on when I leave the country, even if I’m just going to Canada, and a light sort of turns off when I come back. AS: It shows you it’s not you, it’s the culture in your country.

Jihan: Yeah. It just makes me feel like I don’t have to feel terrible about myself. You know, I can feel like I am still the same interesting person that men wanted to date abroad. I just - I can’t find the same thing here. And that’s why I really love that episode of Parks and Rec where, I think it’s a Venezuelan delegation comes to Pawnee, and like all the men in the Venezuelan delegation are really interested in Donna. And she goes, I’m not surprised. The Dare Episode 51 there.

I do very well in South America. And I was just like, Yes!

Yes yes yes! Finally somebody gets what I’ve been talking about (laughs). Coming up. You know, I guess that might have something to do with it. Thank you to all of you who have submitted your short story ideas for our upcoming live event with the public radio show Selected Shorts. You can check out the list of your recommendations on our website at deathsexmoney.

It includes a short story about . It’s Wednesday, January 2. New York City, and we’d love to see you there. On the next episode, actress Holland Taylor. She’s taken big career risks, especially with her Tony- nominated one- woman show about former Texas Governor Ann Richards.